One advise that i gave ppl is that whenever u get into a relationship.. Always prepare for it to end.. Cuz sooner or later it will.. And when it ends.. No matter whose at fault... If you really love that person u jus broke up with.. Do not.. I repeat.. do not play mind games.. Love, relationship.. Its not a game.. Its the real thing people.. We all have feelings because we are human beings.. And those who inflict pain, hurt, misery, sufferings to you.. They dun love you.. Because if you mean so much to them, they'll nvr make u cry.. Take our parents for example.. Do we do things to hurt our parents? We nvr because they are the ones we truely love.. So until when u found someone who can treat u like family.. The rest ain't deserve any bit of tears.. They are jus not worthy to waste your time on..

Back to that advise.. I nvr once took it seriously even though its so true.. Because i was so sure that my r/s won't fall apart.. And that i have done everything possible to hold it together.. I was wrong.. I thought i'v did it right.. but that's wad i thought only.. As a matter of fact.. I only inflict pain to those with me.. I become over possessive, over-protective, over reacts to every small things... Only cared about my own feelings.. None ever about theirs... like for sandrina.. I thought i loved her.. I thought i missed her.. That's wad i thought... Thinking carefully again, i dun... i dun need her at all.. i jus miss all the crazy sex... that's wad i miss about her.. cuz that's the only memory i had of us... It was so wrong to say that i wan her back because i love her.. But i did tried to treat her as family.. but her nature of being a flirt is the reason i decided to ruin us.. Like wad she said to me.. A leopard doesn't changes it's spots.. When i first knew her, we had heavy flirting sessions everyday... It was different for me.. And because of her looks, i decided i wanna get tgt with her.. But then as i knew her for a period of time, i came to realise that we can nvr be tgt forever.. It was only 3 mths into the r/s when i said that to myself.. And ever since we didn't love each other or rather, i didn't love her as much as i used to.. Karen once told me, if at the start she did that to me... Wad makes me think that she won't do it to someone else ?? I jus always keep getting the girls at the wrong place.. How i knew sandrina.. Frenster.. My goodness.. How could i trust a social network to get a girl? And we got tgt only after knowing each other less then 2 weeks and on the first day we met up.. That was ridiculars.. My boys were right.. These are jus stupid road side love stories.. they nvr stand a chance to become fairy tales... All i wanna say is i need someone to be in my life that's all ... That's real selfish.. I know.. that's why i intentionally blew up my chances with all the girls i was flirting with right now.. I'm sorry.. i jus hope non of u girls are reading this.. I dun wanna get ito a r/s for the wrong reasons or at the wrong place anymore.. Everyday lying in bed.. It only made me think about all the sex going on.. And therefore that triggered the wanna get her back feeling... The videos , i guess i should really delete them.. No point watching it again.. And i was sorry i threaten ya with the vids which i should never have.. It was so stupid, a childish mindset... And "if you love her , let her go" that was the stupidest thing i ever heard.. If u really love someone.. You should be taking up lessons on how to treasure her instead.. If you asked me had i really love a girl b4, the ans is yes.. And no one else but her, Norine. It was the only non-sexual r/s that i had.. and everything we had back then was so pure, was so real... 2 years we held on.. That's something i'll nvr forget.. Other then that, i can simply tell u the rest of my r/s were smogged by all the sexual and intimacy going on..

Now i dun have anything else in mind.. All i wan and all i need now.. is not a gal.. but jus a break... because, i'm really enjoying my life now... although at times i jus cried so badly wanting her to come back.. but wad's the point, firstly she won't come back cuz she's attached yet again, not surprisingly.. secondly, i dun love her anymore.. it's jus the sex... Thirdly, I'm not good enough for her, to satisfy her needs, as in money issues, control issues, freedom issues.. i didn't wan her to fucking take lingerie shoots.. Cuz those jobs are for pathetic ppl.. and why are they asked to be models? its because they are cheap, as in the pricing.. as photographers can't afford professional models.. That's why they are used.. To me.. its simply selling ur body to earn a living.. And anyone who has something to comment bout this feel free to come to me.. I love to only talk.. Nothing else.. so jus feel free to come and talk to me... Okay.. enough reasons.. The point is... i enjoy my life now.. so i dun see a point whyi need her back.. Like everyone is saying, there's so many girls out there.. why bother about a old used shoe.. I should be feeling sorry for her man.. jus imagine how many more bf's she's gonna have and how many diff guys she'll be slping with..
Am i getting a little personal here? think i am.. Opps.. But i'm not sorry even if i am...

Okay.. can't wait for NS to come any sooner.. Getting my body tuned into shape is my priority.. And after NS, i definitely will be going overseas.. Where ever i'm going is fine.. as long as i'm gone from this place.. Going back to america is wad i really wan to.. But it means starting all over again.. And i'm not sure if i could handle that... Well.. Jus let's say get over with NS first.. Oh yeah... One more impt thing i got to do before i get out of NS is to get my license.. Right now.. I jus wanna enjoy my 1 mth hoilday before NS life.. I hope no one will get pissed with this post of mine.. Well, even if u get pissed off.. I can't really do anything about it.. Cuz its all the truth.. And people love truths don't they? =)